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“All day, staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my wall,” the seer sung sullenly to herself for what else was there to do? She’d already spent the past five hours counting the 756 bricks in her cell. She was too dejected to start that game again. It was so old now. Everyday...There really wasn’t anything to do besides count and sing. Screaming didn’t help. They wouldn’t listen to her. They’d already deemed her mad. The louder you shouted the easier it was for people to tune you out. But sometimes the seer just couldn’t take it anymore. She knew what was going on, as crazy as it sounded even if no one else did.
Still, all she got for her trouble was extra sedation and more solitary time. The seer was hardly ever let out. Nurse Ratched would torment her with promises of time in the recreational room, to stretch her legs and speak with the other patients if she would be a good girl, just behave, admit that she was wrong, her mind unhinged. The seer knew...She needed to play along. But it was so hard. Day after day, everyone insisting that she was mad, it was so easy to fall into that trap of believing them, doubting everything she knew and felt.
Each day was harder than the one that came before, to cling to the notion that perhaps she wasn’t sane perhaps someone like her could never be entirely sane, but that insanity was the only way she could remain in this mad world. This world was mental; and, she wasn’t deranged in the way they thought she was.
What would happen if she breathed those poisonous words too? What if she confessed to being out of her mind?! Would she truly come to believe that the past and future she felt so keenly were nothing more than delusions, that these other worlds and magic only existed inside her head? She just couldn’t do it..Already there were so many doubts!
The oracle didn’t help. She wasn’t real. The seer had no doubt of that. She wasn’t sure what to call the oracle. A hallucination? But she knew that even though sometimes she could actually see the oracle, not just hear that contemptible voice, she was confined to her head. It was the seer’s perception that was off. No one else could see her. No one else would hear her. The seer had been broken long before this demented world. The oracle was what happened when the human (if someone like her could even be considered human) brain was pushed too far. A last ditch fail safe, as much as it didn’t feel like it. The seer knew, didn’t she? She could only grasp at slim threads of sanity because of this other presence.
She didn’t like to think about it. But then..There was little she could do in this wretched place but think. And it wasn’t as though the oracle was content to leave her alone. At least half the screaming was her fault. Well...Maybe that was blame displacement. The oracle didn’t exist. The oracle was her, the necessary dark part to keep her going when her heart and mind were on the cusp of collapse.
Was that even right? Did she even know what the oracle was? All she really understood was the oracle was inside her head and there was no getting her out. Even without genuine memories, she couldn’t be separated from the oracle any more than she could her magic.
Part of her curse was her ability to keep perfect track of time. In this sector of the Land Without Magic, in this lunatic little town called Storybrook, time was frozen. But that was not to say it didn’t pass. It did and Shea could feel it. It was simply reset with hardly anyone being aware that elsewhere the days were moving while here they were stuck on an endless loop.
Soon the psychiatrist would come. Here he was known as Archie Hopper. But there was another him known as Jiminy Cricket. Of course like everyone but four (Rumplestiltskin, Regina, Jefferson, and the seer herself) he possessed no knowledge of his other self or his time in the world of his birth, the Enchanted Forest. He thought she was every bit as maniacle as everyone else in this hell hole known as Storybrooke.
Even for his visits she wasn’t let out. Some patients had earned that privilege, not her. It was his choice, whether he would speak to her through the door or step inside her cell to conduct her mandatory therapy sessions while a guard was on standby in case of an incident.
As much as these sessions were traumatizing and painful, she could acknowledge his kindless. That was part of why it hurt so much. He was a sweet person. He was a good listener. And yet...Even someone like him could never actually listen, just hear. It had already been decided that she was mad, bonkers, off her head. Dr. Hopper was fixated on getting her to recognize that and change her outlook.
Still...She supposed it was something that he came inside to speak with her, looked at her and tried to treat her as a person if a mentally unsound one.
The seer curled up in the far corner, dreading the moment the psychiatrist would come calling and in that killing her with kindness sort of way attempt to get her to accept that she was mistaken, that this world wasn’t batty and crazed, only her.
Post by Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket on Jun 8, 2016 20:29:03 GMT
Archie Hopper existed in a routine. Every day was the same sort of schedule... His walks with Pongo, his interactions with people and even his individual hobbies. All had their place and he wasn't going to deviate from them. Most would assume that it was a matter of comfort and some of it was... One of the perks of living in a small town was being able to be sure of your routine because you knew everyone and even if everything couldn't be clockwork, most could be. But some of it was just an attempt to be as reliable as he could be.
As a newer psychiatrist, he had come to a rural town to get experience with the bonus of a higher income. But the price of that was he needed to be more willing to work in different areas and more willing to interact with other people. So he needed to know everyone. But also because of that he didn't need to always work to have a good income. There were always other places to earn his income if the town residents didn't need him right away or didn't really want him to be their psychiatrist as much as they liked him.
One of these tasks was the psych ward in town. A psychiatrist specializing in child therapy might be a little out of his depths with abnormal psychology.... But someone did need to do it and the overworked doctor of the town couldn't do it. Nor could the terrible nurse that was down there. So he was brought in to help assist with the psych ward. Part of what he did was to see if any of the patients were ready for release, most of them usually weren't, while the other half was to try to find a better way to do things.
He didn't really have as much of a say as he liked... But it earned him his income outside of talking to Henry and he liked to think he was still helping them. Today he had a particularly interesting patient that he had to talk to. A girl called Elizabeth Vision. She had seizures that made keeping her in the hospital a good idea. Why she was in the psych ward was probably because of those. During those visions, and sometimes after, she was rather confused about reality. Archie hoped to help her if he could...
But somehow she seemed to think he wasn't very genuine. In truth, he felt he wasn't, considering that the mayor was half involved in his visits. She wanted him to report anything the girl saw or said. He wasn't sure why, he thought some of it was concern because the Madam Mayor had a tendency to try to take care of children as soon as they were in danger, but he thought there was something more selfish to it. Still... There was no harm so he did keep Regina updated on Elizabeth Vision along with other patients even if he wished sometimes he could speak up to tell her it was none of her business.
He didn't expect anything to go poorly today. It was one of his many normal visits with her. He had made sure to dress up nicely, as he usually did, so that way she knew he didn't consider the psych ward patients as less than the people above. They had their problems... They weren't inferior in any way. He had to leave Pongo behind because, even though he was well trained, the dog could cause problems in the hospital and Dr. Whale wasn't exactly fond of having to deal with either of them... So just one of them was probably for the best.
When he came down, his lucky umbrella leading the way, he noticed that Elizabeth wasn't taken out yet. With a blink, he decided to head directly down, talking politely to the janitor. "Excuse me... Could you take me to Elizabeth vision's room?" With a polite nod, the janitor led the way to the room and then left him there. Archie had already taken the keys from the nurse at the door wordlessly, though not without a bit of annoyance from the nurse in question, so it was more a matter on what to do when it came to coming in.
He decided knocking was the most polite way so he knocked lightly on the door. "May I come in?"
“All night, hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good for something.” The sullen song continued. In some ways she could relate. But her voices would never be so foolish. No, the oracle knew as well as her that time was frozen. A tomorrow would come. It must. But it wouldn’t stick. There’d be no change, no improvement not for a good long while yet. Specifically when...Well that was difficult to say.
She might bare the burden of a perfect sense of time with respect to all worlds (although no it didn’t include a date); but, in visions there was rarely a firm grasp of when not unless a sentient creature happened to be staring at a calendar equivalent. Even if the seer was present herself in a vision, without a year or month, dating was rough.
“Hold on. Feeling like I’m heading for a breakdown; and, I don’t know why.” No...She knew why. It was this place...These people. This is where you went when society deemed you untreatably sick. They could give you drugs to keep you calmer, meaning trap you in a zombie like state with no thought or will to call your own. But your head...They’d already decided that was properly scrambled. The psyche ward was the last resort. If you were here..You were essentially doomed.
The seer distractedly wondered if anyone here had read the book One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest or rather had cursed memories of reading it. She did. But even if someone else did as well, they wouldn’t be able to make the connection. Nurse Ratched was the head nurse here just as she was in her own world. And false memories had done nothing to improve her temperament. She was every bit as vicious and cruel here as she was there. She walked into a room and sucked the soul straight out of it. Cheer, vitality...Gone in an instant. The seer knew the type well, unfortunately. The woman was a great deal like Shea’s witches had been, just without the magic.
Chief Bromden was here as well. The seer often saw him through her tiny window, sweeping the halls. Everyone thought he was deaf, everyone but the seer who knew better.
It was truly remarkable, how similar those from that world were. They really seemed to have undergone the fewest changes.
There was no McMurphy which was a real shame. Perhaps he could have brightened this glum place where all good things went to die. But he had already been put out of his misery. Big Chief had taken care of it, as much as he currently couldn’t remember.
If only the seer wasn’t in a constant state of solitary confinement...Perhaps then her and Big Chief could be friends. She liked him, the quiet keeper of secrets. Did he understand hers? Did he get that she wasn’t actually crazy? Probably not. No one but Regina did (because those others who were knowledgeable were unaware of her existence). And again...That was unfortunate.
Resetting doesn’t matter when one keeps the memories. Regina just had to come to visit Belle/Lacey when a prophecy bubbled up. Prophecies had to be uttered. There was no helping it. They were distinct from visions as much as people rarely treated them as different.
And...of course the seer’s cell had to be right next to Belle’s. Obviously it made sense. Neither of them were let out. It was practical to keep them close. Still..It was unfortunate. There was no possible way Regina wouldn’t overhear. And worse, she’d understood. The one person the seer wished would think her mad...
At least the clarity was a little better today. Some days she came dangerously close to accepting all those awful things people breathed about her. It was hard not to when it all sounded so ridiculous and all she had as ‘proof’ was innate knowledge and feelings.
It was better to start less confused with Dr. Hopper, give him less opportunity to worm his way inside her head, force her to question what she knew to be true. There were so many doubts though...More and more by the day. Still...They didn’t need the company, that extra hard push.
The polite knock told her now was the time. The wretched games would begin all over again.
What she longed to say was “You’re not trapped in a cage. You may do whatever you wish.” Her life had been a series of prison sentences. She was always locked away be it in the small box with bars covered over by cloth, the dungeons, or the psyche ward. Never could she roam freely. She but tasted the open sky once before she was snatched away, thrown back to the cold and dark. Forever someone’s captive, someone who desired her “gift”.
But the seer wasn’t cruel. And Dr. Hopper was kind. As she lifted her head and stared out the dim, tiny window, she could see he’d like usual bothered to dress up for their sessions. He couldn’t understand. He couldn’t save her. But he wasn’t a bad person. This situation...She knew it wasn’t his fault. She wouldn’t take it out on him. “Well as I’m not allowed to come out, I suppose you can come in,” was the small response, words weighted with sorrow.
Post by Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket on Jun 10, 2016 15:14:40 GMT
In some ways, Archie really hated to visit Elizabeth Vision, though he knew it wasn't really her. As sorrowful as her voice was... He did like talking to her. No... It was more the fact he didn't really think she should be stuck here. Although her hallucinations and breaks with reality were problematic... They were symptoms of her seizures and he couldn't treat them until they figured out what medications she needed for her seizures. Nothing worked yet and while they were trying things out Archie couldn't assign any medications for the hallucinations without a serious risk of interaction with the varying seizure medications.
Her problems should place her in the regular hospital even with those, since she wasn't violent, but either there wasn't enough rooms in the general hospital to give her a year round room.... Or they did think her issues were enough she should belong down here. Either way... Since he didn't think she belonged down here it upset him. The teenager should be able to enjoy schooling as much as she was able instead of losing what little she had of her life here. Plus the conditions down here were not the best as much as Archie had no say.
He wanted to bring up his issues with the treatment of Shea, along with others, to the doctors but he was an outside consultant and fairly new psychiatrist. So he hardly had the clout to say anything. Also the doctors were rather busy and when he addressed the matter with the overworked doctors, such as Dr. Whale, he was more likely to get yelled at then get anything done. Still... He had the best intentions in mind. He would continue bringing things up when he could but he didn't expect anything to change anytime soon by what he said.
Which is why he was fairly... Accepting of the upset that Elizabeth Vision had. Not being believed would understandably cause problems, combined with dealing with a psychiatrist who really couldn't do anything to change her situation, but he still had to do his job and he wanted to try to help her. Besides... Reluctant patients are something he needed to accept he needed to deal with. When she gave him permission to come in, he opened the door, entering into the room. He kept standing, not like there was any place to really sit, regarding the patient in her dejection.
"So how are you today Elizabeth?" Archie asked "Have they been treating you well?" As much as he knew most of the answers already... It was still nice to ask.
How was she?! How was she?! Was it even worth answering?! He could see how tiny and glum her cell was. There was hardly enough room for two. And besides the seer and a bed, there was literally nothing else inside here. She wasn’t even granted the normal patient privilege of recreational room access.
Even if she thought she was truly mad, the conditions alone would be upsetting. But she knew better! She did! There were multiple worlds! She could see the future and the past and on occasion even the present. (She could feel what was happening now somewhere else not just know the present through mundane senses.) And knowing you’re the closest thing anyone could be to sane in a world gone mad while everyone attempts to convince you that they’re right and you’re wrong...You’re the crazy one, the one who doesn’t get it...Everyday they tell you that. And everyday you question your flimsy sanity more and more, wondering what sounds more plausible. How can you be so certain? How can so many people be wrong?
But the majority opinion wasn’t always the correct one. How many great minds, scientists and philosophers, were killed before their time trying to convince mankind that something they’d always believed was false? Numbers didn’t prove anything. But it was still hard to be continually berated for your thoughts. They didn’t even need to say anything. She got it just from the way they looked at her. That wasn’t how one gazed at a person. It never failed to turn her stomach. The other her had known it too, that awful glance that nullified everything you were, stripping you of all pretenses of humanity.
Even in this world with knowledge rather than memories, she often had to wonder..Just what was she? There were no eyeballs in the center of her palms here. But somehow she didn’t feel as though that made her any more human. She looked that part better. But that was superficial. Beneath the skin...Could she be counted as a person, she who even in a world without magic couldn’t be freed from her terrible burden?
He was asking...She should answer. But what could she say? Broken. Dejected. Feeling like a complete mental lapse was imminent. Just how much more of this could she take?! Years and years of this cage, everyone else in this wretched psyche ward ignorant of the time that passed without leaving a mark...Solitary confinement...Injections...
Dr. Hopper was kind to her. He might not believe her; but, at least he didn’t outright call her mad. And he did think she was delusional not crazy. (Yes, there was a difference; and, the seer appreciated it.)
He wasn’t able to accept that her visions were real better than anyone else. But he was much sweeter about it. And that only served to make everything so much more painful and difficult. He thought she was unwell. Of course he did. Who could accept what she knew in a world where magic was deemed the stuff of fantasy and legends? But he actually cared about her. It mattered to him whether she got better or not. And even though he never breathed his disbelief...She could tell. A shift in the eyes. Sometimes there was a look of such pity...It really killed her.
Dr. Hopper wanted her to be better. She wanted to be better for him. But she knew the only way she was getting out was if she could pretend that these visions were only the result of seizures, not real. And she couldn’t do that. When her mind was plagued with such doubts to echo their sentiments...That would be more than the beginning of acceptance. That would break her down to acknowledgment level, to believe the untrue. So she must always disappoint the one who was kindest to her, a special level of torture.
She at least didn’t want to make the empathetic man cry later so she tried to be as positive as possible, something extremely difficult in her deep seeded sorrow. “At least they didn’t use the straightjacket today.” She even managed a small smile there.
How she hated that contraption! Wriggle all you liked! You were never getting out of those restraints! You were all but immobile. It was far worse than just sitting in your cell.
“How are you today, Dr. Hopper?” she asked sweetly, hoping he could focus on more pleasant things. He couldn’t save her. No one could. No one ever did.
The seer couldn’t help but shiver slightly at the question of how they treated her. Nurse Ratched was the worst but none of the other workers were gentle with her either. And since she was in solitary confinement, she couldn’t rely on comradeship with her fellow patients to see her through the day.
She pitifully attempted a positive spin here as well. “They didn’t use Xanax today either.” No, she was just left in her cell to rot. And since she was being punished for bad behavior with solitary confinement, when the guard brought the seer her meals, he wasn’t allowed to breathe so much as a single word to her. He slipped her tray through the slide and walked away. Any efforts to engage him were pointless. She knew. She’d tried many times before.
Sorry I disappeared for a while! Anastasia is officially done and I am back, had some IRL mishaps but hope to write with all of you guys soon <3.
Aug 20, 2016 21:00:20 GMT
Apologies to all members, for once again going off the grid. The admins here are still very much invested in keeping this site alive, but sometimes our real lives serve as speed bumps on the road toward that goal. Thank you all for being patient with us.
Jul 26, 2016 15:52:20 GMT
...is this even happening?
Jul 2, 2016 19:56:24 GMT
I'm so excited to see this alive! Hoping my app will be reviewed and, fingers crossed, accepted now! ( Though it has been archived. )
Jun 18, 2016 16:15:05 GMT
Hey guys Ariel here, Thursday night a bad storm knocked my power out and as I Saturday, today, I still don't have any!! I'm not ignoring the site, I just don't have a computer to use yet. As soon as I get power, I will be back!
Jun 17, 2016 19:39:26 GMT
Apologies to all for being so MIA, had a lot going on work wise and with real life this month, the biggest being having my wisdom teeth removed earlier this week. BUT I AM BACK <3
Jun 14, 2016 18:03:21 GMT
All done with my app Lovelies <3
Jun 7, 2016 1:46:17 GMT
hey guys! we're slowly but surely still working on updates. thanks for your patience! we love you!
Jun 2, 2016 1:36:18 GMT
Open thread to anyone that would show up at the snow's residence here
May 19, 2016 20:14:35 GMT
Just a note to all members: Snow will be out of town from Tomorrow morning until Monday afternoon. If anyone has any questions, or needs any help during that time, please direct your concerns to myself and the other staff members! Thank you <3
May 16, 2016 23:23:41 GMT
If you are ready and want to begin writing - the RP boards are open!
May 16, 2016 20:05:07 GMT
Today is Monday guys!!! Please remember it is the last day to reclaim any characters that you are planning on keeping!! Thank you all <3
May 13, 2016 14:35:07 GMT
as you guys are retooling your apps - know that we are canon seasons 1-3, and everything after that can be up to you. you can stick to canon, or go off script - but remember to work with the folks who have connections to your characters! <3
May 13, 2016 13:45:26 GMT
all apps have been archived. please repost the apps of characters you are keeping. pm me with any questions. <3
May 13, 2016 13:16:38 GMT
I just wanna say how very excited I am to see so many of you guys staying and sticking with us <3
May 13, 2016 12:39:46 GMT
don't worry - your plot pages are not deleted, they have been archived, and you will be able to access them once the RP boards are opened back up. I promise nothing has been removed completely - you will have access to all of your posts and plot pages. <3
May 12, 2016 20:37:28 GMT
Hey everybody, I am the admin formerly known as Belle, just so you all know <3
May 12, 2016 20:08:51 GMT
you guys can reply at this link, to let us know which characters & accounts you're keeping! <3
May 12, 2016 18:26:29 GMT
Is there a place to say "yes, I want to keep my character?
May 8, 2016 3:42:44 GMT
don't panic - the rp boards are hidden to staff only for now, as we move everything to the archives and work to restart the game. you will not loose any old work, but we will be wiping the slate clean.