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She couldn’t believe it...Well, of course she could. Her life had never been one anyone could describe as gentle. But it just seemed needlessly cruel. After the torment of what was commonly referred to as the educational system, she had to see him. Dad was adamant that Shea needed therapy. So even though now everyone knew she wasn’t crazy, at least not in the way they’d perceived her to be, she couldn’t escape those sessions.
What a sick, twisted joke. Even when they understood, she was no better off. In fact she might be worse off. But Dad wanted her to experience some semblance of normalcy. He’d done so much for her and asked so little. How could she deny him either of his requests?
She’d already had a panic attack, a perfect ending to a perfectly torturous day. Shea hadn’t even managed to calm herself by the time Dad came to pick her up. He’d done what he could to pull her together. She was more here now. But to say she was entirely there would be the worst sort of lie.
They’d sat in the car in near silence. Normally that was fine. Father and daughter understood each other intimately and were quite close, ridiculously close considering how little time they’d actually lived together. Silence for them need not be awkward. But here it was. Neither of them knew what to say. And Shea was just trying her best not to have a second panic attack right there in the car.
She’d gone for counting in a vain attempt to soothe her nerves which actually had to have been the worst thing she could have done. Counting sheep and whatnot might be calming for other people. But when you spent 28 years stuck in a tiny psyche ward cell and your only hobbies included sullen singing, lots of glum thinking, and counting the same 756 bricks over and over again...Counting lost its appeal and comfort factor real quick.
Her breath was clawing its way out of her throat in harsh, uneven rasps as Dad walked her to her appointment. She could barely feel that warm hand on her shoulder, silently assuring her that everything would be alright.
The walls were weaving. But still for Dad’s sake somehow she managed to put one foot in front of other. Right. Left. Right. Left. Right.
All traces of color had abandoned her face as the door squeaked open, her stomach lurching as the floor seemed to stretch indefinitely before her. There were words...She knew there were. She could see his lips moving. But it was as though she was one of Odysseus’ sailors, ears plugged with beeswax lest she hear the sirens' song.
Post by Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket on Jun 10, 2016 14:33:03 GMT
((Note: I play Jefferson as well. Jefferson is in Red and Archie is in orange))
It was surprising how much things changed with a different perspective. Originally... Archie assumed his lack of busy work was from his schedule and a lack of trust. Now, the lack of trust may be there but at least he knew that the reason he wasn't so busy was because of the curse. Because it wasn't really his fault, and he was sure people could handle themselves, he was fine with how things were now on this matter. If people needed him now then he would always be there for them.
An example of this is the patient coming... Although it was more of a follow up to a long amount of treatment and he was not really sure how well it would go. When he was under the curse he had also been in charge of doing check ups of the psych ward patients... One of these had been Elizabeth Vision who was now Shea Hatter. He had disbelieved her visions, thinking of them as a side effect of her seizures, but due to the fact that hallucinations could be a side effect to seizures had fortunately not been one of the main medication pushers.
He was sure that the check up was not exactly going to be pleasant.... But he was surprised that not only would he be able to do a follow up to see how Shea was but also be able to get a secondary patient. Her father had volunteered for a session after Shea, probably to support her more than actual willingness from what he could tell from a phone conversation, but Archie would take that opportunity to use as he needed to. He was sure he would have to use all the resources he had for it.
Which was why he had already informed Pongo that he was allowed to greet people. The dog was still laying on his bed like he was supposed to waiting. Archie had also cancelled all the appointments that he had with any others for the afternoon so he could focus on these two patients. It wouldn't do for him to not be able to handle what was necessary to handle and not have all the time he needed to make sure that they would be alright. One of the benefits of being Storybrooke's psychiatrist is he had all the time he needed.
So when the panic attack happened... Archie was ready for it. "Shea? I'm going to invite your father in for this interview since these two sessions are just initial appointments..." He told her though he wasn't sure if she could process it. He looked up to the roughly same height parental figure of the red haired girl. His clear blue eyes regarded the dark with concern eyes of her father. "Could you come in and help me make things more comfortable for her? It was a little strange asking the parental figure to get involved.
But after a blink, the well dressed man did come in and started to take out things from a bag he had brought with him. Archie had been informed before the appointment that the man would bring the tea set, had been asked if he would take it and if Jefferson could use it, but it was quite a different matter to see the man set up the electric kettle that he brought as well as the cups. He was sure half of it was to calm down Shea's fairly young adoptive father but he'd trust the judgement of the man.
He didn't really know either of them yet. As much as he had been the psychiatrist of Elizabeth Vision... You really could not be the same person without your memories of experience. He went and sat down in his main chair to not be threatening, across from the girl that had been gently led by her father to the main chair for his patients, waiting for Shea to calm down. The red haired man did blink in a bit of surprise when Jefferson brought out pastries but Jefferson didn't seem to take any offense to his surprise at the lack of warning of them.
"I was a little nervous..." The brown haired parental figure mentioned. "Will it be a problem to have the pastries here?" Archie shook his head no at that and watched the more relieved man continue to set up the tea party. It was a very intricate, very important seeming ritual so Archie didn't plan to speak up until the five minutes in which Jefferson finished what he was doing with the set up. There even seemed to be a particular color scheme with the cups.They spoke quite a bit to the mentality in the family.
Shea's cup was a rose cup with a blue color to it and a gold that made Archie wonder how he was going to keep it safely in his office. Jefferson's cup had a similar rose theme but was a dark color that, as well as looking more masculine was also in theme. Archie's cup was a quite distinct one from the two cups. Considering the fanciness... It seemed Jefferson was still trying to make it fit the set but it was obvious he chose the others for similarity. Archie would feel left out except it seemed to be more a matter of making sure Shea fit in.
It was after a sip of tea, poured for him and only a little cooled, that Archie spoke again. "Is everyone calmer?" He asked. "Since we don't really know each other... This session is mostly to get to know what we are going to do with future sessions. So it won't start with any formal therapy." He wanted to make sure both of them knew that he didn't plan on starting therapy right away. That would be unwise considering he needed to make new files for both of them.
She shouldn’t be so shaken. It wasn’t exactly like this was a surprise. Dad had talked to her ahead of time, to prepare her. He thought she could use some therapy. He made it very clear that he didn’t believe she was crazy but there was some trauma that he didn’t think he was good enough to help her with alone. He’d offered to take sessions himself. No doubt, to show her that it wasn’t a bad thing. She knew the thought of therapy troubled him too. Maybe it didn’t curdle his blood the same way it did hers; but, he hadn’t been shut away in that awful cell for almost 29 years.
The seer had known it. With the right will and push, Dr. Hopper could get her out. But he wouldn’t. Session after session...Equal levels of pain just with different words. It all boiled down to the same thing. She had to accept that these ‘visions’ were just a result of some medical condition, a side effect of the seizures. They might seem and feel real; but, that was just her brain tricking her.
Even now..He had the power to get her locked up again didn’t he?! Her breath grew more ragged and labored the longer she thought about it. No seer could be perfectly sane. (And yes that was the nice way of putting it.) What if he thought she was so unstable she had to go back?! She couldn’t! She couldn’t return to counting bricks in the wall, sullenly singing to herself with the oracle the only company to speak of!
Her ears still weren’t working so even without that dark musical voice, she’d understand who had come calling. But if anyone could make a tongue clucking sound twisted it was her. “You’re panicking again,” the oracle chastised her.
Wonderful..This was just what she needed. She was with a therapist and the voice in her head was acting up. Whatever Shea did...she could not start screaming at the oracle no matter what she said.
There was a brief distraction in the way of Dr. Hopper’s words. Thanks to her knowledge, she could read lips fairly well. She stiffened a bit at the mention of her father. He’d already seen her one panic attack. She didn’t want him to realize the extent of her failure now. Although he had seen how shaky she was both in the car and walking to the room. Still...If he wasn’t here..He could at least imagine better.
But she had no say. Shea was gently lead to a chair by her father, one she tried to sit in more than fall into as much as her legs were still shaking. And if possible...She could feel his affectionate touch less than before. Her arm was numb...Tingling a little even.
Shea’s perception of reality was bent and gnarled as the oracle made herself visible. It wouldn’t be quite so debilitating if it was only the oracle. But when she saw the oracle she saw a third person perspective of herself. It was difficult to describe and harder to keep a grasp on what was going on around her. (Here the situation was especially difficult as while she knew she was sitting, the her she could see stood.)
“And you’re being very rude. Come now! You’re not going to tell me I wasn’t good company are you?!" Without waiting for an answer, with brisk confident strides more graceful than anything Shea could manage, she reached Shea and wrapped her arms around her chest in a tight hug that was more possessive and constricting than warm and affectionate. “I was all you had.” “You were all I had.” Now she had Dad.
What was wrong with her?! Yes...She was panicked but what had she just thought?! She couldn’t just go speaking to herself in therapy!
She paled until she was whiter than any bed sheet, trying to figure out what to say to justify those words spoken to no one.
The oracle’s lurid laughter echoed in her head.
“You’re so afraid of him, this small little cricket. You know all about him. If he gives you trouble, you could break him like that.” The oracle released her hold on Shea long enough to snap her fingers for emphasis before quickly encasing her once more.
No...That wasn’t her. And Dr. Hopper was kind even if he’d been like so many, incapable of believing her.
The oracle tilted her head in an amused fashion which still managed to appear menacing. “You think that’s not you? Just what are you? Come now. Don’t pretend. You know how to do it. How often was it done to you? You don’t have to fear him.”
She leaned in to whisper in Shea’s ear. “You hated it, didn’t you, the power he held over you? You resented the fact he only spoke of salvation. He wasn’t willing to help you. He thought you were a poor, confused little girl. He made it worse. He made you sick with the witch’s toys. He treated you like you were delusional. That one can smile and smile and be a villain.”
He wasn’t! He didn’t know any better! No one did! She’d never disliked him! He still treated her like a person!
“Your standards are pitifully low. So he knocked politely. So he looked you in the eyes. What did he do for you? What did he really do for you? Did he fight for you? When you were weak and broken, bawling your eyes out, begging him to release you because you couldn’t take it anymore, what did he do?”
“You need to stop it. You need to stop letting him control you. He’s not one of the witches. He’s not a soldier either. His skills are not theirs. And what he has you can match. Your words can hurt him. If he bothers you, your words can make it stop. If you’re worried about him hurting you then all you have to do is hurt him first. Shut him down before he can do anything. You know how it’s done. Again and again, you’ve lived it.”
A tea cup was offered to her; but, her fingers were trembling too hard for her to take it without fear of spilling tea everywhere, including on the lovely dress Dad made for her. She simply smiled apologetically, trying to tune out the oracle.
“And you really need to stop doing that. I’m not going to go away just because you don’t want to listen.” There was a disappointed sigh. “How long will it take you to learn? If there’s no place for you, you just have to make one. Break what needs to broken, something inside you or something inside them.”
More lip movement from Dr. Hopper. Calmer...? She could laugh at that. Or cry.
The oracle’s sunless laughter resounded once more inside her head. “We don’t know each other? Oh I believe the good doctor’s confused. He might not know us or rather you. But we know him so well. Oh the stories we could tell!”
Shut up! Please just shut up! “I’m not the one you want to silence.” The oracle retracted her arms so she could point a slender finger at Archie. “He is.”
Sorry I disappeared for a while! Anastasia is officially done and I am back, had some IRL mishaps but hope to write with all of you guys soon <3.
Aug 20, 2016 21:00:20 GMT
Apologies to all members, for once again going off the grid. The admins here are still very much invested in keeping this site alive, but sometimes our real lives serve as speed bumps on the road toward that goal. Thank you all for being patient with us.
Jul 26, 2016 15:52:20 GMT
...is this even happening?
Jul 2, 2016 19:56:24 GMT
I'm so excited to see this alive! Hoping my app will be reviewed and, fingers crossed, accepted now! ( Though it has been archived. )
Jun 18, 2016 16:15:05 GMT
Hey guys Ariel here, Thursday night a bad storm knocked my power out and as I Saturday, today, I still don't have any!! I'm not ignoring the site, I just don't have a computer to use yet. As soon as I get power, I will be back!
Jun 17, 2016 19:39:26 GMT
Apologies to all for being so MIA, had a lot going on work wise and with real life this month, the biggest being having my wisdom teeth removed earlier this week. BUT I AM BACK <3
Jun 14, 2016 18:03:21 GMT
All done with my app Lovelies <3
Jun 7, 2016 1:46:17 GMT
hey guys! we're slowly but surely still working on updates. thanks for your patience! we love you!
Jun 2, 2016 1:36:18 GMT
Open thread to anyone that would show up at the snow's residence here
May 19, 2016 20:14:35 GMT
Just a note to all members: Snow will be out of town from Tomorrow morning until Monday afternoon. If anyone has any questions, or needs any help during that time, please direct your concerns to myself and the other staff members! Thank you <3
May 16, 2016 23:23:41 GMT
If you are ready and want to begin writing - the RP boards are open!
May 16, 2016 20:05:07 GMT
Today is Monday guys!!! Please remember it is the last day to reclaim any characters that you are planning on keeping!! Thank you all <3
May 13, 2016 14:35:07 GMT
as you guys are retooling your apps - know that we are canon seasons 1-3, and everything after that can be up to you. you can stick to canon, or go off script - but remember to work with the folks who have connections to your characters! <3
May 13, 2016 13:45:26 GMT
all apps have been archived. please repost the apps of characters you are keeping. pm me with any questions. <3
May 13, 2016 13:16:38 GMT
I just wanna say how very excited I am to see so many of you guys staying and sticking with us <3
May 13, 2016 12:39:46 GMT
don't worry - your plot pages are not deleted, they have been archived, and you will be able to access them once the RP boards are opened back up. I promise nothing has been removed completely - you will have access to all of your posts and plot pages. <3
May 12, 2016 20:37:28 GMT
Hey everybody, I am the admin formerly known as Belle, just so you all know <3
May 12, 2016 20:08:51 GMT
you guys can reply at this link, to let us know which characters & accounts you're keeping! <3
May 12, 2016 18:26:29 GMT
Is there a place to say "yes, I want to keep my character?
May 8, 2016 3:42:44 GMT
don't panic - the rp boards are hidden to staff only for now, as we move everything to the archives and work to restart the game. you will not loose any old work, but we will be wiping the slate clean.